I feel so lost. Am I meant to be like the Dr. ? Wondering around going from one great person to the next, never meant to keep them.
The cars that go by in the morning sound like ocean waves. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. Tell myself to start the day, move on, keep going forward.
I walk very casual in the morning, to work, in downtown Pittsburgh. It quite funny seeing all these people rushing around to no where. What work? Rush! I give myself an extra 20-30 min going to work each day, just so I can enjoy what I am seeing, the walk I am traveling. Smell the real city, smile at people. A few times, major things were making me feel very depressed and many times, nice people would walk buy and tell me I’m to pretty not to be smiling. I love this town. I want to share this world, and all its great little treasures it has hiding in so many places, over looked by so many people.
Am I over looked? I don’t think I am but I still feel like it.
Pain, it familiar to me. Like an old, dependable friend. It makes me feel real, alive.
Just getting up and walking to a destination is such a bizarre feeling for me. What wills that to go here, there, pick up this or ….do what we do. Is it us? I watch John Macalivch to many times. I pray no one I knows ever find these journal entry’s. I want to stay hidden. Its safe. Feeling pain is safe, dependable. BLA BLA BLAH! Good bless ya for reading this far…… lol